I Think I Can Handle That
by Skiddy2002
Summary: Will helps Kevin deal with a tragic accident.
1. Chapter 1

[ **Note** : _Takes place six months after the episode 4.06 and deviates from all episodes thereafter_.]

Will glanced into the mirror as he finished getting dressed. He wondered if Gunnar had made breakfast this morning. He could really go for some of Gunnar's flapjacks. As he looked at his reflection, he took a deep breath. "We're getting there." It had become something of a ritual for him over the last few months.

The last six months had been filled with highs and lows, ups and downs. Some of the lows had been particularly bad such as radio stations refusing to play his songs, boycotts of his concerts, homophobic slurs flung at him when he appeared at local venues. Those were bad, but fortunately there had been some pretty big highs to counterbalance the lows. He had signed to Highway 65, and Rayna had been nothing but supportive. She had promised Will that she would have his back and she had in spades. He had always thought highly of Rayna but now he thought she walked on water. She wasn't the only one supporting him either. A lot of country artists had shown support for him as well. Will had thought that Wade Cole's diss of him at Juliette's album launch was indicative of how other artists would feel. It was nice to know that Wade was in the minority. His album had moderate success as did his songs Broken Song and Spinning Revolver. They had performed better than expected. And despite the boycotts and picketers, his concerts had sold well too. He really was getting there and had come a long way in six months.

Will watched as his reflection smiled sadly at him. "Yeah, I know. I wish…" Will shook his head and glanced away. He wished he could share all of this with Kevin but he couldn't. He still thought about Kevin almost every day. Whenever something good happened it was always followed by a pang of remorse as he realized that the one person he wanted to share it with he couldn't. If he had a dime for every time he had reached for his phone to call Kevin, he could retire happy. He wondered if that feeling would ever go away. Would he ever stop reaching for his phone to call Kevin? With that last thought swirling in his head, he opened his door and went down the stairs.

Will bounded into the kitchen and went straight for the coffee pot as he turned and saw Avery and Gunnar sitting in the living room watching the news. They were both riveted to the screen, their faces serious. "What's going on? The world didn't blow up while we were asleep did it?"

Avery half turned his head towards him as he responded, "There was a big car crash on I-40 last night."

"That sounds awful." Will said as he poured coffee into his favorite mug.

"Apparently a semi came across the median and crashed into oncoming traffic on the other side of the highway." Gunnar said his eyes never leaving the TV screen.

Will walked over and stood behind the couch sipping his coffee as he started to tune into what was happening on the set. "We're now going to go back to Amber Wells who is at the scene of last night's horrific crash on I-40 which occurred late last night. Amber is there anything more you can tell us?"

"Good Morning Kate. The only new piece of information we are hearing although it hasn't been confirmed is that the driver of the semi fell asleep at the wheel which is what caused last night's accident. As you know, he is one of several people listed in critical condition at Nashville General Hospital this morning. Four people were killed on scene although those names have not yet been released pending notification of next of kin. As you can see behind me, the clean up efforts are still ongoing, and we are being told that it will be several more hours before traffic will be moving freely along this stretch of highway. For those of you trying to get to work this morning, please use alternate routes as you head out."

"Amber, the car loaded onto the tow truck behind you, was that one of the cars involved in the collision last night?"

Will watched as the cameraman panned off of the news reporter and zoomed in on a black sedan sitting on a tow truck. He heard Gunnar give a low whistle at the damage. "Yes, it was. As you can see, the entire left side of the car has been shattered. This car was actually in the farthest lane, the slow lane, when the semi came across the median. The semi crashed into at least three other cars before hitting this one reducing the impact significantly. Even so, you can see the damage the car sustained."

The cameraman panned from the left side of the car around to the back before starting to go around to the right side but Will never got that far. As soon as the camera swung to the back of the car, Will's world tilted. He suddenly felt dizzy and he couldn't seem to breathe. He vaguely heard something that sounded like a dish breaking.

"Will! Will what's wrong?" Gunnar was beside him in an instant with Avery not far behind.

It took Will a long moment before he was finally able to say, "Kevin."

Gunnar looked at him in confusion. "Kevin? What are you talking about?" Gunnar glanced back at the TV and Will saw his face tense.

Avery apparently saw it too. "What's he talking about? What's going on?"

Gunnar turned back to Avery with a somber look. "Kevin drives a black sedan."

"There are a lot of black sedans." Avery said rationally.

Gunnar turned back to the TV just as the cameraman was panning back around the car. Gunnar's eyes closed as he whispered, "Not with that license plate."

They all just stood there in shock as the news reporter droned on. Then the anchor woman broke in, "Amber, I'm sorry to cut you off but we have breaking news just in. We are switching now to our reporter, Josh Henderson, who has been at Nashville General all night. Josh, what can you tell us?"

"Good Morning Kate. We have just been informed that the driver of the black sedan that viewers just saw in that last clip has passed away from the injuries sustained in the car crash last night. This now brings the death toll to five…"

That was all Will heard as his knees buckled out from under him. Luckily both Avery and Gunnar caught him before he went crashing down to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Less than an hour later, Will glanced to his right and saw the reporter, Josh Henderson, standing near a TV van outside the hospital. It all seemed surreal to him as he walked through the hospital front door with Gunnar and Avery beside him. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Avery said.

Will turned to him with eyes that seemed blank from shock. "I need to see him." Will said flatly.

Avery just shook his head. "I'm not sure if they will even let you. What's the protocol for this kind of thing?"

Gunnar looked around the lobby. "Do we even know where he would be? Do you think he's in ICU still or has he been transferred to the mor…?"

"Basement?" Avery butted in forcefully. At Gunnar's questioning look, Avery's eyes darted over to Will.

"Right…basement…that's what I…totally…meant to say. Shouldn't there be a nurse around here somewhere that we can talk to?" Gunnar quickly walked across the lobby to the information desk with Avery and Will close behind. "Excuse me. We're looking for…someone."

The elderly woman at the information desk smiled pleasantly up at Gunnar. "Is the person you're looking for a patient here?"

Gunnar turned to Avery with a questioning look. Avery just shrugged in response. Gunnar turned back around and said, "Yes?"

"What's the name dear?"

"Kevin Bicks. B-I-C-K-S."

The woman typed the name into her computer then peered intently at the screen. "Ah yes. Here he is. Room 302. Take the elevators across the lobby up to the third floor then turn right."

"Thank you ma'am." Gunnar said before they strode across the lobby to the elevators. "So I guess they haven't moved him to the mor…basement."

Avery just shook his head at him in annoyance as he pushed the up button for the elevator. They rode up in silence then stepped out and turned right as the woman in the lobby had told them. Within moments they were standing in front of the door to room 302.

Will just stood there. He knew what awaited him on the other side of that door, and it scared the Hell out of him. There was a big part of him that was telling him to run, run away as fast as he could, and avoid the inevitable at all costs. But there was a larger part of him that needed to see Kevin one last time. He felt a hand on his back. "Do you want us to go in with you?" Avery said compassionately.

Will shook his head. "No, I need to do this alone."

Gunnar added his hand to Will's back beside Avery's. "We'll be right here if you need us. Just yell."

Will nodded, then reached out to the door handle and pushed the door open stepping into the sterile room. Will heard the door swish softly closed behind him as he closed his eyes in despair. The bed was empty. _God, please don't make me go to the morgue_. It would have been hard enough seeing Kevin covered with a sheet lying on a hospital bed but seeing him in the morgue on a cold steel slab was more than he could bear. He stood there with his eyes closed gathering himself when he heard a soft sound from across the room.

Will opened his eyes and automatically turned towards the sound. He blinked several times not believing what his eyes were telling him. Will's arm flailed out and grasped the wall as he suddenly felt like he was falling. Standing in the corner of the room staring out the window was Kevin. But it couldn't be. They had said the driver of the black sedan had died. It was Kevin's car. It didn't make any sense. Was he seeing a ghost? Will had no experience with anything paranormal but he thought ghosts were transparent, wispy, ethereal. The apparition before him looked solid. Kevin was wearing a hospital gown and robe and seemed oblivious to everything around him.

Will wasn't sure how long he stood there just staring at Kevin. Finally, he summoned up the strength to say Kevin's name but it was so soft that he wasn't sure he had actually said anything. He tried again, "Kevin?" Kevin didn't respond. Maybe Kevin really was a ghost. Will took a step closer and said his name louder, "Kevin?" It took a few moments but finally Kevin turned his head slightly. Will watched as Kevin seemed to snap out of his lassitude and realize for the first time that he wasn't alone in the room. He turned to Will who gasped when he got a good look at him. The entire right side of Kevin's face was bruised and swollen and his right arm was in a sling. Kevin stared at him with blank eyes and without any sign of recognition.

Will stepped closer and said his name again. Kevin blinked at him a few times before softly whispering, "Will?"

Will smiled. "That's right. It's me." Will watched in horror as Kevin's blank eyes suddenly filled with grief and his body started to shudder uncontrollably. Will instinctively grabbed him trying to be careful of his injuries and pressed Kevin's body close to him. "It's okay, Kev. I'm here. I've got you." Will held onto Kevin as tightly as he dared, thanking whatever God happened to be listening that Kevin was alive and in his arms. He would deal with the rest later.


	3. Chapter 3

Will sat on the hospital bed next to Kevin with his right hand softly stroking his back while his left hand grasped Kevin's own tightly. Kevin sat staring down at the floor the blankness back in his eyes. His body had stopped shaking with just an occassional shudder evident. Gunnar and Avery were now in the room with them; Gunnar standing with his arms crossed looking grim while Avery sat in the lone chair his entire body oozing empathy for Kevin in his sorrow. The only thing they had managed to learn so far was that Kevin had not been behind the wheel of his own car last night. Apparently his friend Jill had been and had subsequently died that morning from her injuries. Will hadn't realized just how close Kevin and Jill were as friends. He had only met her the one time, and it hadn't gone particularly well. He had gotten the distinct impression that she didn't like him much.

"What do I say to them?" Kevin asked suddenly in a soft voice almost as if he were asking himself the question.

Will squeezed his hand and spoke just as softly. Speaking normally just seemed inappropriate with Kevin being so fragile. "Who are you talking about?"

Kevin continued to stare at the floor as he spoke. "Jill's parents. They're flying in from California. They should be here soon." Kevin's eyes filled up with tears as he continued. "How do I tell them that she died because of me?"

Avery reached over and touched Kevin's knee. "Hey, that's not true. It wasn't your fault." Kevin didn't respond. Avery glanced up at Will helplessly then turned back to Kevin. "Why don't you tell us what happened?"

They all waited, furtively glancing at each other, wondering if Kevin would start talking. Eventually, he did. "Jill came over to the house yesterday afternoon. We were working on a song. It started to get late and some of our friends texted her to see if we wanted to meet them for dinner and drinks at a bar we like to go to. I didn't really want to go but Jill insisted. She said that I needed to get out; that I'd been too depressed lately." Will shared a knowing look with Gunnar and Avery. "We had to take my car because Jill's didn't have much gas." Kevin snorted softly. "That was so Jill. She never had gas in her car." Will, Gunnar and Avery smiled as they waited for Kevin to continue. "We finished dinner and just sat around talking. Nobody seemed like they wanted to leave. The next thing I knew Jill ordered a round of shots. I told her I couldn't because I was driving but she told me…" Kevin's voice cracked and he squeezed his eyes shut trying not to break.

Will rubbed his back and placed a soft kiss on his temple as they all waited in silence for Kevin to regain his composure and continue. "She told me that she would drive us home. She said that I needed to have fun for a change. She was tired of me being such a buzzkill." Will watched as a few tears escaped and ran down Kevin's cheeks. "So I did. And one round turned into two and then three and four and that's why she was driving instead of me. It should have been me. It should have been me."

Will pulled Kevin to him as he broke down. "Shhh, Kev, it's okay. It's not your fault. It's okay. I'm here. Everything's okay." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Avery stand up as he brushed tears from his face and nodded his head at Gunnar. They quietly left the room as Will held Kevin and tried his best to comfort him.

Will stepped out into the hallway and saw Gunnar and Avery pacing outside the door. They came closer when they saw him with matching concerned looks on their faces as Gunnar said, "How is he?"

Will sighed softly before replying, "Not great. He's resting. I tried to get him to close his eyes and catch some sleep but I don't think that's happening any time soon."

Avery just shook his head. "I feel so bad for him. I wish there was something we could do."

Will placed his hand on Avery's shoulder and squeezed. "You're here. That means a lot."

Over Avery's shoulder, Will saw a doctor step up to the nurse's station. "May I see Kevin Bicks' chart please?"

Will walked over to the doctor anxiously. "Excuse me. Are you Kevin's doctor?"

The doctor turned to Will with tired eyes. "Yes, I am. And you are?"

Will stuck his hand out and shook the doctor's hand. He hesitated for a moment before saying, "I'm his boyfriend."

"I see. Will you be able to stay with him for a couple of days?"

Will nodded. "Absolutely."

The doctor smiled slightly at that. "Good. Then I feel better about releasing him."

Gunnar stepped forward with a look of amazement on his face. "Seriously? He's…okay?"

The doctor turned towards Gunnar when he spoke but turned back to Will before replying. "Your boyfriend is extremely lucky. He walked away from a very serious car accident with some bruising and a mild concussion."

Will heard Avery say "Wow" softly behind him. He was having a hard time believing it himself. "You're sure?"

"We ran another CAT scan early this morning. There's no fracture, no swelling, no bleeding. Just the bruising and swelling that you can see to the soft tissue on the right side of his face which will diminish over the next few days."

"What about his arm?" Will said as he remembered the sling.

The doctor shook his head. "The sling is purely optional. He has a large contusion on his right shoulder. We thought the sling might make him more comfortable, but it's entirely up to him if he wears it or not." The doctor smiled at Will knowingly. "It must be a relief. I'm sure you were expecting much worse when you got here."

Will snorted in relieved laughter. "That's an understatement."

The doctor turned back to the nurse's station and opened Kevin's file. "I'll sign off on the paperwork to release him, so you should be able to take him home in about an hour or so. I'm also going to write out a prescription for some pain pills. He's going to be extremely sore for the next few days. I'll also give you the name of a grief counsellor that I've worked with. She's very good."

Will nodded gratefully as he thought about the survivor's guilt that Kevin was already displaying. "Thanks doc."

The doctor reached out and squeezed Will's arm. "You're welcome. If you need anything, my number will be on the paperwork. Call anytime." With a small wave to Gunnar and Avery, the doctor turned and headed back down the hallway.

Gunnar stepped forward and watched him walk away. "Well he was nice."

"I can't believe it." Gunnar and Will turned to Avery as he spoke. "How crazy is this day?"

"Pretty damn crazy." Gunnar said as he turned to Will and draped an arm over his shoulder and gave him a one armed hug.

Will leaned into Gunnar more grateful than words could express that his worst nightmare hadn't come true after all.


	4. Chapter 4

_Oh crap,_ Will thought as he pulled his truck into Kevin's driveway and put it in park. He glanced over at Kevin in the passenger seat and his heart went out to him. He didn't think he had ever seen anyone look as exhausted as Kevin looked now. Will silently hoped that Kevin was too out of it to notice Jill's car sitting at the curb in front of the house. He wasn't sure if Kevin could handle any more.

Despite the fact that Kevin had been released from the hospital by mid-morning, he refused to leave before Jill's parents arrived. Avery and Gunnar offered to go to Kevin's to get him some clean clothes. They also picked up Kevin's prescription and brought Will's truck to the hospital so he could drive Kevin home whenever he was ready. Will finally shooed them away with his undying thanks for everything they had done. They left only after Will had promised profusely to call them if he needed anything. Will wondered what he had ever done to deserve such great friends.

After Gunnar and Avery left, Will helped Kevin get dressed and then waited with him. Jill's parents finally arrived at the hospital around 12:30. He had stood in Kevin's doorway a respectable distance away so as not to intrude. The doctor Will had met earlier delivered the terrible news with Kevin standing beside him. Will had never before heard the kind of inhuman wail that erupted from Jill's mother. Kevin stepped forward and grabbed her as she clung to him sobbing. Jill's father wrapped his arms around both of them and silently cried as he tried to console his wife.

Will stood there fighting back tears knowing that he couldn't even imagine that kind of sorrow. He thought about Avery and Cadence and knew without any doubt that Avery would never survive something like this. As he wiped the tears from his face, he fleetingly wondered how his own parents would react if he had been the one who died. He snorted derisively. They probably wouldn't even bat an eyelash or they would be grateful that they no longer had to spare him a thought. If they ever did, that was. He shook his head as if to clear it. He needed to concentrate on Kevin not think about things he had no control over.

He stayed in the background, an observer on the periphery, as Kevin and Jill's parents went down to the morgue to see Jill. Will watched Kevin carefully for any signs that he needed Will but Kevin remained stoic and unemotional as he held Jill's mother who would have fallen without Kevin's support. The only reaction Kevin showed was when the sheet was pulled back from Jill's face. Kevin's eyes closed and he sagged slightly. Will took a step towards him but then Kevin took a deep breath and opened his eyes standing up straighter. Will stayed where he was watching but Kevin seemed to be holding his own. They remained in the morgue for a long time as Jill's mother stroked Jill's hair lovingly refusing to leave her alone. Kevin spoke to her quietly the whole time and finally she seemed to come to peace with leaving. She continued to cling to Kevin as they left, looking drained, as Jill's father morosely followed.

It was now approaching early evening, and Will had finally delivered Kevin home. Kevin hadn't spoken a word to Will since his breakdown earlier that morning. Will got out of the truck and went around to the passenger door opening it. "Come on Kev. We're home." Will reached in and gently pulled Kevin out of the truck. Kevin obeyed automatically. Will wrapped an arm around Kevin's waist and started guiding him towards the front door. They were almost to the porch when Kevin stopped moving suddenly causing Will to lose his balance and almost tumble them to the ground. When he looked up, he realized that Kevin was staring out into the street. _Jill's car. Damn it!_ Will pulled Kevin into his side and whispered into his ear. "It's okay Kev. Let's go inside. Come on. You need to get some sleep." Will coaxed Kevin back towards the door and pulled him into the house closing the door on the view of Jill's car.

Will took Kevin directly into the bedroom and deposited him on the bed. Kevin just sat there as Will undressed him until he was clad in only his underwear. He pulled back the sheets and pushed Kevin down onto his left side pulling the covers back up over him. He was arranging the sheets around Kevin when Kevin's left hand shot out and grabbed Will's arm. "Stay." Will hesitated only a moment before shedding his own clothes and getting into bed with Kevin. He pulled Kevin to him and wrapped his arms around him as Kevin laid his head on Will's shoulder and sighed. Will stroked his hair and whispered, "Close your eyes." Within seconds Kevin was fast asleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Will woke up. Kevin was still in his arms but as Will looked down at him he realized that Kevin's brow was furrowed and he was whimpering softly. Will gently stroked Kevin's back and kissed his forehead. He whispered, "It's okay Kev. Everything's okay. You're safe. I'm right here."

Kevin shifted and took a deep breath then nuzzled closer to Will. As he did so, he whispered, "Will."

Will smiled as he drifted back to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Will was puttering around the kitchen when he looked up and noticed Kevin standing in the living room. He looked marginally better than last night and had managed to put on a T-shirt and sweatpants. "You're awake." Will said trying to sound upbeat without coming across as too chipper. "I made coffee. I also made you some breakfast."

Kevin just shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

Will looked at him sympathetically. "I know you're not. It's just scrambled eggs and toast. You have to eat something."

Will watched as Kevin rubbed his forehead in impatience. "I said I'm not hungry."

Will persevered, "You could probably use a pain pill, but it says not to take them on an empty stomach. So why don't you just come sit down…."

"Dammit, I said I'm not hungry!" Kevin screamed at him. Will remained quiet as Kevin turned and walked stiffly over to the couch. He sat down heavily and dropped his head into his hands.

Will waited a minute before walking over to the couch himself and sitting down beside Kevin. He sat there quietly waiting for Kevin to make the first move. Finally, Kevin reached out and grasped Will's hand squeezing tightly. "I'm sorry."

Will placed his hand over Kevin's and smiled at him. "It's okay."

Kevin closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, it isn't. I shouldn't take it out on you."

Will scooted closer to Kevin and said, "Actually, you should." Kevin opened his eyes and looked at him in confusion. "I know that you're going through a really hard time right now. I can't even imagine all the emotions that must be churning away inside. So I want you to know that whatever you need to get out, whatever you need to say or do, you just go ahead. Because I know that none of it is directed at me. I promise I won't take any of it personally, so you go right ahead and hit me with both barrels if that's what you need to do."

Kevin just blinked at him like he wasn't completely sure that he understood what Will was saying. "Really?"

Will grasped Kevin's hand tighter. "Really." Will waited for Kevin to digest that before saying, "Not to sound like a broken record and knowing that I'll probably get my head chopped off again but, you need to eat something." Kevin closed his eyes and groaned. "Hey, look at me. I just want to take care of you. I know that taking care of yourself is at the bottom of your priority list right now. So let me do it for you."

Kevin sat there for a long time before Will was finally rewarded with a small nod. As Will guided Kevin over towards the kitchen, Kevin got sidetracked by his phone lying on the kitchen counter. "I should call Jill's parents."

Will gently pulled the phone out of Kevin's hand and spoke quickly before Kevin could snap angrily at him. "Yes, you should. But it's still pretty early, and they probably didn't get much sleep last night. So why don't you give them a little more time."

Will waited wondering if Kevin would argue with him but instead Kevin slid into a chair at the counter with a grimace. Will pushed the lever down on the toaster and started the microwave to warm up the eggs he had made earlier. He poured some coffee into a mug and gave it to Kevin. "Hot and black just the way you like it." Will smiled at the familiar joke but Kevin just wrapped his hands around the mug and sat quietly. It was a far cry from the first time Will had said that to Kevin without thinking one of their first mornings together. Kevin had devolved into side splitting laughter as Will stood there dumbly not realizing how suggestive that remark could be taken.

Will finished getting Kevin's breakfast together then stood back and watched while he ate mechanically. Fortunately, Will didn't have to push too hard to get him to eat it all. Afterwards, he gave Kevin a pain pill with a refill on his coffee and didn't say anything when Kevin reached for his phone again to call Jill's parents.

The next few days were something of a blur for Will. Kevin spent most of his time with Jill's parents with Will again watching from the sidelines not wanting to interfere. Jill's wish was to be cremated, so Kevin helped Jill's parents organize a memorial service at the Bluebird for Jill's friends to come together and remember her. Her parents would take Jill's ashes back with them to California where they would spread them in one of her favorite places.

The only bright spot in the last few days for Will was when Kevin introduced him to Jill's parents. Kevin had introduced him as his boyfriend. Will was trying not to read too much into that. Kevin was still on an emotional rollercoaster, and Will wasn't sure if he was even aware of what he had said. Or perhaps it was just easier than to explain that Will was actually his ex and get into that whole story. But as much as Will tried not to get his hopes up, he wasn't having much luck.

Will was standing outside the Bluebird watching people arrive for the memorial service when he spotted Avery and Gunnar. He smiled warmly at them as they got closer. "Hey. I'm really glad you guys could come. I know it will mean a lot to Kevin."

Gunnar stepped up to him and gave him a hug. "Of course we're here. We may not have known Jill but we wanted to be here to support Kevin. And you too naturally."

"Absolutely," Avery chimed in. "How's Kevin doing?"

Will glanced through the window into the Bluebird and saw Kevin standing near the stage with Jill's parents talking to some of the guests. Will blew out a breath. "Honestly? I don't really know. He hasn't spoken about Jill or the accident. He's been so focused on Jill's parents and the service."

Gunnar looked at him with concern. "What about that grief counsellor the doctor mentioned?"

Will nodded. "I've thought about that. I was waiting for the service to be over and Jill's parents to leave before I brought it up."

Avery nodded in agreement. "Probably a good idea. Once Jill's parents are back in California, it will be easier for you to get him to focus on himself. Hopefully he'll agree to go."

"Yeah, I hope so too. I'm kind of dreading it. I don't want to have to drag him there kicking and screaming against his will." Will turned to look at Kevin through the window again. "But I will if I have to."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Gunnar said. "We should head in."

They stepped through the door of the Bluebird and Avery commented on the crowd. "Wow, quite a turn out. That's nice. It must make Jill's parents feel good to see so many people here to remember their daughter."

Will and Gunnar shared a look as they noticed Avery's eyes cloud over. Gunnar put an arm around Avery's shoulders as he guided him over to a table while Will worked his way through the crowd to a table in the front where Kevin and Jill's parents sat. Will could see that Kevin was tense, so he reached over and squeezed his hand. "You okay?"

Kevin turned to him but didn't answer. Will wished with all his might that he could wave a magic wand and take all of Kevin's pain away. Will was surprised when Kevin stood up suddenly and walked up onto the stage. He stood there in front of the microphone looking out into the crowd. He didn't say anything but little by little the crowd noticed he was there and quieted down until there wasn't a sound in the room. Kevin still just stood there to the point where people where glancing at each other awkwardly. Will was just about to jump up on stage with him when he finally spoke. "Good evening." It came out somewhat garbled so Kevin turned slightly and cleared his throat. He looked back out into the crowd. "It's good to see so many familiar faces. Jill would be pleased. For those of you who may not know me, my name is Kevin and Jill is…" Kevin stopped and glanced away for a moment before continuing, "Was…a good friend of mine." Kevin paused to gather his thoughts and then said, "There were a lot of people who didn't like Jill when they first met her. She was never afraid to say exactly what was on her mind. Good or bad." Will looked around and noticed people nodding their heads in agreement. "She could be a lot to take at times, but I admired her for it. I wished I could be more like her. I was with her when she…" Kevin's voice cracked and Will watched as his eyes filled with tears. "When she passed. And she was being my friend right up until the very end. I will always love her for that." Kevin closed his eyes as a few tears ran down his face. Will wondered if he should go up on stage when Kevin suddenly laughed. With his eyes still closed Kevin said, "I can hear her yelling at me right now. Stop being so maudlin Kev and order a round of shots already." Everyone in the room laughed some shaking their heads knowing that was exactly what Jill would have said. Kevin opened his eyes. "And where's the music? It's way too quiet in here." Will heard some people whoop or clap in agreement. "So let's sing. This is a song Jill and I wrote together when I first came to Nashville."


	6. Chapter 6

Will stood in the kitchen drinking his coffee as he watched Kevin who was sitting on the couch sideways with his knees against his chest staring out the window. The memorial service had been one of the best ones Will had ever been to. After Kevin had sung the song he and Jill had written together, many of Jill's friends had taken the stage to either sing or recount stories. There had been tears but also a lot of laughter and singing. Both Avery and Gunnar had complimented Kevin's singing voice and wondered why he didn't perform more often.

Jill's parents had stayed another day before heading back to California with the somber task of spreading Jill's ashes. They had thanked Kevin for all his help and promised that they would stay in touch. Jill's mother had a hard time saying goodbye to Kevin, and Kevin seemed to be struggling just as much. Once they left, Kevin had shut down. He had barely said a word to Will and had done nothing but sit on the couch staring out the window since they left which had been the day before yesterday.

Will set his cup down in the sink and walked over to the couch sitting down next to Kevin. He reached over and gently rubbed his knee. "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" Kevin slowly turned away from the window, and Will winced at how blank his eyes looked. "So, I…" Will started then stopped. He expelled a breath. Man this was hard. "Look, I don't know how to say this to you so I'm just going to say it. When the doctor released you from the hospital, he gave me the name of a grief counsellor. I think you should go."

Kevin turned so that he was sitting on the couch properly but he didn't respond. Will waited a minute then scooted closer to Kevin's side and gingerly took his hand. "I can't even imagine what you're going through. But I know that you've got a lot of emotions swirling around inside of you that you need to talk about and you're not talking to me. You can't just sit here and stare out the window. Let me call and make an appointment for you. I think it will really help."

Kevin turned and looked at Will but remained silent. "Please Kev." Kevin looked at him for a long time before he nodded slightly. Will expelled the breath he didn't know he was holding and broke into a relieved smile. "Good. I'll call her today."

Kevin continued to stare at Will making him feel a little uneasy. Then Kevin suddenly leaned forward and kissed him hard his hand going around the back of Will's neck holding him in place. Will was too stunned to respond at first. He felt Kevin's lips moving against his own, and it wasn't until he felt Kevin's tongue flick across his lips that he groaned inwardly and wrapped his arms around Kevin. _God he had wanted this for so long_. Kevin became more aggressive, kissing him harder and pulling at his clothes. As much as Will wanted this, deep down he knew it was wrong and he somehow found the strength to push Kevin away. "Hang on Kev." But Kevin was undaunted and latched onto Will's neck sending shivers of pleasure down Will's spine. "Kev, come on, hang on a sec."

Kevin resisted Will pushing him away and growled into Will's ear, "No, now."

 _Damn, he is going to be the death of me_. Will gathered every last bit of strength he had and finally pushed Kevin from him. "Kevin stop."

Kevin stared at Will in confusion. "What's the matter?"

 _Apparently, I'm crazy_. "I can't do this."

Kevin looked hurt. "Don't you want me?"

Will closed his eyes and prayed _Lord, have mercy, give me strength_. He opened his eyes and placed his hands on either side of Kevin's face looking directly into his eyes. "I want you more than you could possibly imagine."

"Then what's the problem?" Kevin said as he tried to lean forward and kiss Will again but Will held him firmly.

Will stared into Kevin's eyes lovingly. "Kevin…you are so vulnerable right now. If I let this happen, I'd…I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you."

"You're not." Kevin said as he tried to lean forward again but Will kept him at bay.

"Maybe. But I'm not willing to take that chance." Will brushed his thumbs across Kevin's cheeks. "I love you so much. It would kill me if later on you thought I had taken advantage." Will shook his head when Kevin tried to speak. "I know you don't think that now. But you might later on and I can't risk it. I'm sorry." Will watched as Kevin slumped and looked away pulling his face from Will's hands. Will took his hand and clasped it tightly between his own. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need. I promise. I'm not going anywhere." Kevin just sat silently so Will scooted closer to him holding his hand even tighter. "When you're better, if you want me to stick around, I'll be the happiest man on the planet. But if you decide that you don't want to be with me after all, you'd better be prepared."

Kevin glanced up at Will with curiosity. "Prepared for what?"

Will smiled. "For me. I let you walk away then I thought I lost you forever. There won't be a third time. If you decide you don't want to get back together with me, I'm coming after you with everything I have. So, you better be prepared."

Kevin stared at him for a long moment before a small smile appeared on his face. The first genuine one Will had seen since this whole mess started. "I think I can handle that."


End file.
